PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:
STEPH MADAMBA Wednesday, May 02, 2007
i want to run, run far far away. as far as i could. my mind's a roller coaster and i can't help but think that now, I'm in that phase of my life again, a phase I never intended to go through once more. Last year, I lost one important person in my life, probably the most important. I've made it through and I thought everything's going to be fine but now, I'm feeling that pain again. That same pain that I felt when we lost her. I wish I could just type it all down here which would make me feel more relaxed, to be able to breathe a little bit, but no. I just couldn't.
Let's just put it this way. It's just so soon and even if she's been gone for quite some time, I still won't understand. Fine, she's gone and there's nothing we can do about it but WE ARE still here and life goes on without her. It's just so hard to let go of the most important thing to you and replace it with something else just to feel a sense of completeness or even just an excuse to feel happy. I know this entry seems really weird. As I said, I wish I could just type everything down but I know I should not.
Right now, I just feel so alone and I feel pain. The sooner it gets solved the better, or else, this pain is gonna drive me nowhere. I want to stop crying, I want this to end, I want everything to be normal. Sooner or later, things might happen and I'm afraid. I'm so afraid...........