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STEPH MADAMBA

21 years of age.
4th year in DLSU.
European Studies and Business Management.

THAT used to be me. NOW:
23 years of age.
Rustan Coffee Corp.
INLOVE.

bolditalicstrikestrong♥♥♥ Love & Love

on our way to goodbye..
so with it being resplendent, let's drink
yes, to our hearts content and delight :)
STAY HAPPY AND CHEERS

♥MULTIPLY
♥FRIENDSTER

♥Henzel Gapay
♥Abby Villa
♥Nina Canizares
♥Sky Mendoza
♥Johanna Pineda
♥Lin Ocampo
♥Aiken Quipot

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dec29'06: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIBOY!

hmmm, after biboy's birthday party in jollibee makati ave, we still wanted to go out and so we did! we wanted coffee so instead of the usual starbucks, we went all the way to katipunan.. KOPIROTI here we are! sarap ng iced kopi and the homemade roti.. also the tea and the french toast.. hindi pa nakuntento, bought barbeque sa 'countryside'.. we went out of the place to eat barbeque and stand there for more than an hour.. haha.. lakas ng trip.. by the way, nahigad si jon! ooooh, kati! ano pa ba nangyari, ow! napaiyak ko si april! gosh.. masahe night din pala un..

saya! uhmm, un na, uwian na.. at nagkayayaan magmovie.. so movie later with sila april.. KASAL, KASALI KASALO here we come!

nakilala ko na rin ang mga "the boys".. ika nga ni henzel: stick to everyone. mahirap mag stick to one kapag doubtful naman ang partner kaya mabuti pang mag stick to everyone. lahat masaya! gawin ko kaya no? haha.. good thought by the way. il think about it.. most of the time, stick to one ako no.. hindi ko naman pinagsasabay.. hmmm. about henzel nga pala to.. xa muna bago me..

just got home from her party in spotlight pasong tamo... it was fun.. it was a duo debut celebration for gia and henzel. magpinsan na nga, sabay pang pinanganak.. hahaha.. galing no? tonight is a bling night and true enough, some really had the bling going around.. the rest, casual. si henzel kc, ang pinagsabi, casual.. pero xmpre porma kami noh! hindi papahuli.. hahaha... 18 candles ako by the way.. twice nagsalita kc proxy narin ako for dia.. she left early.. maraming party ung bakla eh.. lahat ata ng pics throughout the 18 candles, andun kami ni lin, una kc kami eh.. haha.. galing ni henz tlga.. hahaha.. buti nlng maganda ako tonight.. xmpre, baka may makilala akong gwapo eh.. should never miss the chance diba? hahaha..

im sort of sleepy na, il post na some of the pics.. the rest, look into my multiply: http://steph01memyslfndi.multiply.com

enjoy!

haha.. before i end things up for the night.. i almost forgot!

welcome home jumpi! god did i miss you man! i really didn't expect it.. i was so happy, excited, gulat when i saw this morning... tatahitahimik ka pa kanina ah! haha..

really happy your home for christmas.. so i guess il be seeing you in in hymn always.. haha.. starbucks pa pala tayo.. inuubos ang stickers! :D

have mixed emotions today. actually, for most of the day, i was actually thinking it's such a beautiful day but wat the hell?! turned out just the same at the end. wala parin palang nag.bago. it was all just an act. or was it? eto na naman ako, pag nabasa niya, unfair na naman ako or i didn't understand.. hmm. well, maybe it was wasn't but still, it didn't change a thing. we still ain't fine. im counting days and yes, im still counting them..

what do i have to do to put things back where they were in the first place anyway? i never thought this could happen..

well, let's start with the 'most part of the day that's happy'. har. i saw him again after two long weeks.. i didnt act so bitchy ok.. i approached and said hi. we even sat together and we were fine the whole day. then the 'not so happy part of the day'.. i actually thought this was the beginning but who would have thought that by getting out of that door would bring it back to weirdness and speechless time.. maybe if i went to the concert, it would have been different.. sori naman.. nagkagulo sa bahay. god make me forget his no. please... erased nga fonebuk, no difference since i know it by heart.. hate it. then again, let's make room for some mistakes.. baka pagod or la time to look at fone.. who am i kidding?! oh yes, just me.

im beginning to be hopeless.. i only have like 1 percent left in my system. going back was a decision i made because of him, for him and for myself. but now, im thinking if what i did was right? for the both of us.. it's obviously not doing me any good... grades and falling apart, losing my mind, and heart, lost a friend, lost the self i once had for 6 years.... as for him, i know he's bothered all the time. so obvious naman no.

..partly happy partly angry partly sad partly weird... hay.. can't even describe my life right now. hope this christmas would give me something i want, need.. something for me..

Authentic love is chosing your partner exactly as he is; it is putting your energy behind your choice and causing the relationship to be magical, rather than searching for reasons why it can't work. Love is supporting your partner in her choices, urging her to fulfill her heart's desires and go for all of her dreams.

Authentic love is honoring your partner's truth and wanting the very best for him. It is not controllng or possessing but rather respecting and trusting his unique path in life. Love is the courage to tell the truth especially when you believe it is unspeakable.

Authentic love means knowing your boundaries and respecting those of your partner; it means reaching out when you don't want to, communicating rather than assuming, and asking questions rather than jumping to conclusions. Authentic love means working things out rather than fighting, fighting rather than leaving, and staying through the misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and disappointments, knowing that through commitment all can be healed. It means staying when you want to give up, and honoring your commitment to work things out with the one you have chosen.

Authentic love means focusing on what you appreciate and why you are grateful. It means focusing attention on your partner and letting her know each day how much you care. It means treasuring your beloved and never taking her for granted.

Authentic love means living without judgments to create the safety to tell your truths. It means living each day with your partner as if it were your last. It is the willingness to be yourself and live in harmony with each other.

What does an authentic relationship look like? It looks and feels real. It thrives on honesty and shimmers with truth. An authentic relationship flexes and bends with the fluctuating needs and changes of each partner and gracefully weathers hardships. Both partners are committed to the growth and evolution of both individuals in their respective life paths. Much like the diamond used symbolically to represent the bond of matrimony, an authentic relationship sparkles with brilliance and light while maintaining a solid and enduring core. It is the context in which true love was meant to exist.

Of course, this is the ideal. The real fun ----- and opportunity --- lies in reaching for such a vision.

well, there it goes. mejo nabbore nako sa walang ginagawa kaya i tried to look for something up to read. i found this one in ate's cabinet.. thanks to her.. il be reading something worthwhile with sense... hay! maiinlove nlng ako sa libro. baka ung libro hindi ako sasaktan.. out nako ulit.. il read this!!..

you all did one hell of a job! congratulations to the pinoy dream academy honor list of 6. galing niyo kagabi ah! haha.. most especially si idol na si yeng constantino! congratulations girl! la ako masabi.. finally makakasama mo na si rj! wooshoo.. hehee.. kilig na naman ako.. at least they get to be happy after all.. hahaha..

congratulations once again!

i know it's wrong. or is it? you make me feel like what im feeling and or doing is wrong. is it so bad to wish for things to be back to normal again? is that too much to ask for. you always say that you just want understanding. and i do kahit malabo. i dont want to be part of that circle of people who dont understand you but why do always push me away? everytime we come that close, you put a wall in front of me. i know i may have done that to you too but hey, we were kids then! we were afraid of doing all the wrong things. i was afraid of hurting you more. but now, we were sure of our feeling didn't we? but now, it seems all complicated. nothing's complicated naman talaga eh. we just make them that way. it's all so simple. we love each other or not. i know that we do. you told me that you do, and i told you the same thing pero actions are really the opposite nowadays no? hay!

im not gonna wish for anything more this christmas. i just want normacy in our lives. if it can't be the two of us then so be it but not like this. it's killing me and i know nahihirapan ka. pareho lng tayo. but you know what's different? me wanting us to be friends at least because you wanted to and here you are wanting to be friends but can't have enough guts to even smile at me. you can't even look at me in the eye. what are you so afraid about? im here to stay and i aint gong anywhere.

i miss you so much do you know that? i miss the times you were there at all times. the times that i could always run to you. the times that you were the guy i dreamt about and been thinking about. i miss the times when i was the only one. when i felt important to you. i miss the smiles, your voice, your embrace, your kiss. i miss everything about you. even the things i hate about you.. everything.

the least you could do is act normal in front of them. shut me out as long as you want if that will make you happy but never in front of them. hindi sila dpat nadadamay satin. gulo natin to, not the whole group. i know you've been going through a lot. but if so, if you love me like the way your saying, then i should be beside you and i will help. problems are just problems we can solve, i would solve with you. but never alone.

face it, im back and im here to stay. i ain't leaving again. never again because of you. kahit mahal kita.. when i left back then, i realized that leaving for space is never going to be good reason and will not do anything good for anyone. it will never do good. running away wont solve a thing. i hope you realize that too.. dont wait until i feel nothing anymore and be a different person.. i miss you.. you not being the guy but you being the friend... whatever a friend may mean..

and when the time comes that you do, il be here.. always and forever..

shuxx, sori for the entries.. puro surveys.. yeah i know.. very senseless..
just cant have the right mind like before.. dealing through a lot as you might know.. il get back to sensible blog entries soon..

for now, another survey iv answered..

1. My guy/girl's hair style should be
[ ]long
[ ]curly
[x]clean cut
[ ]kalbo
[ ]spike

2.the color of his hair should be
[x]black
[x]brown
[ ]pink
[ ]red
[ ]multi-colored *yikes!*

3.he should be a
[ ]performer
[ ]gamer
[x]leader
[ ]athlete
[x]musician
[ ]honor student
[x]prince *haha.as if!*

4. he should be
[x]tall
[x]6 footer
[ ]small
[ ]5"6 and below in height

5. He should be
[x]romantic
[ ]bad boy
[x]simple
[ ]nerd
[ ]shy *ayoko na ng shy!*
[x]smart

6.His skin should be
[ ]dark as an african
[x]mestizo
[x]moreno
[ ]anak araw
[x]tan

7. He should be good in
[ ]sports
[ ]math
[ ]science
[ ]art
[x]music
[x]cooking
[ ]fortune telling
[x]surprises

8. my ideal guy's eyes should be
[ ]big as an owl
[x]chinito *actually, kahit ano*
[ ]round eyes
[ ]none of the above

9. the color of his eyes should be
[ ]blue
[ ]green
[x]brown
[ ]red
[ ]pink
[ ]gray
[x]black

10. He should be
[x]an atenista
[x]a lasalita
[x]a UP student
[ ]Ust
[ ]Povedan
[ ]letranista
[ ]Bedan
[ ]a student in FEU
[ ]CEU ..
[ ]an augustinian

11. our age gap should be
[x]just a few months
[ ]1 year
[x]2-5 years
[ ]more than 5 years

12. our date should be in
[x]a restaurant
[ ]park
[x]cinema
[x]paris *if you do, il marry you na kahit first date palang!*
[x]sea shore *As long as I'm with the person that I truly love (& who truly loves me too),where we are is not that significant.* -->but i do love the sea especially if it's going to be with him..

How old do you act?

Put an x on all thethings you can do and find out how oldyou act!!

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee

[ ] I can do my own laundry

[x] I can cook for myself

[x] I do my chores after being told once

[x] I sometimes do my homework/work

[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations

[ ] I think politics are exciting

[x] My parents and grand-parents have better things to say than my peers->sometimes!

total: 6

_________________________________________

[x] I show up for school/work everyday unless I'm sick

[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse

[x] I watch talk shows

[x] I know what incredibility means without looking it up

[x] I drink black coffee

total: 5

_________________________________________

[x] I know how to run the dishwasher..and/or do the dishes

[x] I can count in more than one language

[ ] I can mow the lawn

[ ] I can wash the car

[x] I can make adults laugh... without being stupid

[x] I remember to water my plants

[x] I study when I have to

[x] I pay attention at school/work

[ ] I remember to feed my pets.

[x] I'm generally organized

total: 7

_________________________________________

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up

[x] I clean up my own messes

[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get coffee--juice or hotchocolate

[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need

[ ] I understand jokes the first time they are said

[x] I can type quickly, because I type every day

total: 4

_________________________________________

[ ] My choice in clothing is acceptable in an office or something like that

[ ] I can watch politics and laugh

[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour

[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job

[x] I can read a book and actually finish it

[x] People have said that I look older than I am

total: 2

Now add up how many x's you have and put "i act _ years old"

Pano pag yung mahal mo...

1. NAWALA SAYO...** i'd cry all the tears possible..try my best to get him back.

2. MAMATAY...** my life would fall. would take a long time to put myself back together

3. INAGAW...** i'd kill them both. il make sure he'll regret it!

4. NAGMAHAL NG IBA...** gaganti ako.. i'd show it to his face that i can do better.

5. GAGUHIN KA...** gago pala xa eh!

6. AYAW NA NYA...** ask for explanations.. until i understand..otherwise, i wont be over it.

7. NKTA MO KSMA NYA EX NYA** will have that butterfly feeling in my tummy. perhaps cry.

8. BABALIK SYA SA EX NYA...** grabe na tong servey na to! if he really loves her, fine. but it won't be easy for the two of them.

9. MLMN MO NA LUV N LUV KA NYA..** id be the happiest in the world. kiss him and hug him so tight. will never let go

10. KANTAHAN KA NYA...** shuxx, naiiyak nako -- id sing with him..

11. PAKASALAN KA NYA...** i'd say yes! basta 28 nako.. haha.. id be the ideal wife if not perfect..

12. SINAKTAN KA NYA PHYSICALLY** iiwan ko xa. kahit mahal ko pa.

13.BUMALIK EX MO...** so what?! i love the present. unless that ex of mine is the ex that really made me crazy. pag ganon, obviously, id be confused. "present" should fight for me..

14. NAKIKIPAGBALIKAN EX MO...** depende sa actions ni present..pero feeling ko, kay present ako.. i love him

15. PUNTA SYA STATES PRA WORK.** i'd allow him. it's for us din naman diba? i can't stop his future. if i can get a job there also, i'd take it, just so that i could be there with him

16. MAY PIC NG EX NYA S WALLET NYA?** id cry and be angry malamang. baka awayin ko xa.. ask muna

17. INIIWASAN KA NIYA?** (can relate) id act normal. act as if nothing happened until he realizes im different and he would come back to me. basta as normal as possible. id still start conversations until such time he'd be comfortable talking to me again.

18. LAM BA NG MHAL M N MHAL MO SYA?** oo naman.. sana lang maalala niya..and feel it in his heart..

there will be no ordinary days for you
there is someone who cares like i do
you were no reason to be sad anymore
i am always ready with a smile
with just one glimpse of you

you don't have to search no more
cause i am someone who will love you for sure

so if we fall in love, maybe we'd sing this song as one
if we fall in love, we can write a better song than this
if we fall in love, we will have this melody in our heads
if we fall in love, anywhere with you would be a better place

you can watch that movies in a different place
so il be right there beside you, and hugging you oh so tight (oh so tight)
house will never feel so cold and empty again
cause i will keep on holding on, and won't let go (never let you go)

you don't have to search no more
'cause i am someone who will love you for sure

so if we fall in love, maybe we'd sing this song as one
if we fall in love, we can write a better song than this
if we fall in love, we will have this melody in our heads
if we fall in love, anywhere with you would be a better place

it feels so good when you're around
one smile from you (one smile from you)
fit my days feels so bright

so if we fall in love, maybe we'd sing this song as one
if we fall in love, we can write a better song than this
if we fall in love, we will have this melody in our heads
if we fall in love, anywhere with you would be a better place