Stephie.

Monday, November 27, 2006

today was a first for me in music studio na karaoke.. i went with friends like cla alma, khris, jing, henzel and pol.. grabe.. nagcut pa kmi ni henz ng philfor just to go videoke.. hahaha.. sobrang fun! i sang like a lot! lalo na si pol! namakyaw ata! just came from there nga lng eh.. may class na sila whereas for me, i have time to hit the pc. first that i sang was 'the gift'. that song is really one special song! i sang that first in april and jon's wedding with jona.. gets na why special? xa kc un eh.. everything i do with him is special. or should i say used to be.. oh well, ganyan ata tlga ang buhay.. parang life!

im tired of crying na.. baka kc ako lng eh.. nagsasayang lang ako ng oras! pero i still cant get it out of my system. lalo na the whole weekend. started last friday. he went to my house late in the evening which was also a first since he never spent just some free time in my place. it used to be just because of the prom or caroling with the choir. now that everything's over, parang senseless ang lahat! i can't even function normally..

starting yesterday, i was really feeling down. physically, mentally, socially and emotionally.. let me repeat that, emotionally! i really was! i dont know the exact reason or maybe i do but im not sure if it's the only reason: he is being cold to me.. he's giving me the cold shoulder... sobrang weird kc we never talked the whole day yesterday.. from 430 to 10 in the evening.. ayoko na.. i mean it's worse than him telling me that we are not gonna work.. him not talking to me is really worse than that.

today, mas malala! talagang wala akong nagawa for school. let's start with accounting. deadline today ng financial statements ng practise set and may homework. la ako ginawa. then 9am was my deadline to finish the scaf boards and booths for sc.otreas pero zero output from me. (sori otreas) at least nauna ko nang nagawa last week ung door hangers na layout, at least un di nadamay sa pagkadown ko) then, i have class in philfor ng 1250, la parin. nagcut ako.. now, free time sana to study for the exam later ng 330 for busorga class, la parin.. di man lang nagbuklat ng notebook!

see what a mess iv been without you?! hindi naman kita sinisisi ok? if ever you read this anytime in the future, im not blaming you at all.. i just have to get these emotions out. me being a mess with my work is not your working so don't feel blamed. (nasasaktan na nga ako, pinapangalagaan pa rin kita) i love you so much. i cant get my mind straight even just for studies. i thought going back to the choir would make you happy since you wanted this naman.. pero bakit uncomfortable ka? ang gulo mo naman.. well, im not leaving the choir for this issue again. i left once because of you, and it's never gona happen again. if il be leaving again in the future, il make sure it's not anymore because of you.

and one last thing.. bakit ikaw ang uncomfortable with the situation? dapat nga ako eh.. you dumped me remember?! grabe! you're really one hell of a creature you know that? you're such a first. hay! in time... in time, il get over you.. i wont even think about this day ever again..in time...